Let My Sorrow be Turned to Joy

Forgive me Father for all the horrible things that I do and say or the good that I don't do or say.

Please redeem the time and the life that you have given me. Use it for Your glory, and my joy because I'm really filled with tears at what I still seem to be.

I know that you will finish the work you started in me...

In My Lack of Artistic Productivity

Reading through Isaiah 5:10 "..for 10 acres of vineyard shall yield one bath..."

"God judged the greedy rich by reducing the productivity of their land to a small fraction of what it would have been normally. One bath was roughly equivalent to 6 gallons" (J Mac)

I definitely feel this is how I am--a greedy rich artist  who buys extra supplies they don't need much and doesn't use everything as often as they would like to. I have so much, that I do not know which tool I should use when. because of being indecisive with all the choices, I end up being quite unproductive.

If anything, my art-producing pace is slow, but I pray that God would make my heart clean each day, renew it each morning and that I would find increased joy in making it for Him.

As they say, with more that you have comes more responsibility and the more expected of you.
I hope that I'll some how to be able to make more of a breakthrough in art.

An Offering

I've been rereading Genesis and as I read about Cain and Abel, I saw myself in Cain. Cain brings an offering of fruit to God, something that he wants to bring instead of what God would like Him to bring--an animal sacrifice. It is not God's preference of Abel over Cain, just God's requirement that Cain also bring an animal sacrifice.

I feel like Cain because I'm always bringing to God what I want to bring--the art He's given to me--like for this 40 day challenge--I'm trying to bring my art to God--by drawing 40 faces instead of sacrificing to God what He wants me to sacrifice.

However, on the flip side, since Christ was a sacrifice for my sins, God can still be glorified in my bringing what I would want to bring--I just pray that my heart also be changed in the attitude of how I bring the art He has given me to Him. I also pray that my improvement in art, if any, would be a praise to Him as wel

Spiritual Attacks

Ever since the 40 Day Impact Challenge has started
I feel like my art skills with drawing people from reference (because I'm drawing 40 faces from my facebook friends list this time around) have been degraded all of a sudden--I used to be able to sketch people from photos out in pen with ease.

Perhaps, I was not as good as I thought I was-- maybe , maybe not. Maybe I just never focused so much on drawing portraits well and that is the cause of my frustration.

But I'm definitely learning something--and it reminds me of Job's circumstance although mine may not be as extreme. For some reason, if I am under spiritual attack by evil spirits and God is allowing them to take the skills He has given me, away---and if I am leaning on Christ, then that is all that matters. Like what Job said, he was afraid that God would allow all that He had given Job to be taken away , but He still trusted in God's Sovereignty, praising Him even through those dreaded circumstances.

God, please help me to continue to trust in you and to flee to You in these times , that if I'm frustrated with having to redraw a face over 5-10 times instead of getting it right the first time, then You would be glorified in my running to You.  If and when I finish each face each day, I pray that You would be most glorified even if the likenesses are not captured at all.

Have mercy on me. *cries*

or I just need to work on portraits more , besides, portraits probably are the hardest thing to draw?