Jesus Appeared in my Dreams

I woke up the night before last night so encouraged because, well, because Jesus had appeared and talked to me in my dreams.

I wasn't excited to see Jesus in my dream at first though, I was scared. I was sitting in a line of people wearing a towel and I felt naked when I saw Him.  My sin would be so obvious to Him. I ducked behind the person in front of me hoping He wouldn't see me. Then He came up to me from a different direction and I noticed so He motioned me to come forward and held out his hand. I realized I did not feel naked anymore.

I was afraid of him a little still because as we walked , I hated some thoughts I had. but when He didn't condemn me, I relaxed more.

As we walked, He talked to me. He pointed out something on my left ear and I took it and saw that it was a reddish weathered and used looking stub of a pencil but the point still sharp.  He said affectionately "You're always using that pencil" (the metaphorical pencil I carry around with me everywhere to draw) I said "I never realized that! I've never used up a whole pencil before [in real life]."

As we continued to walk we passed a classmate sharing the gospel with someone.

He then said, "This year, I would like you to relax in nature more (these weren't his exact words) but when I woke up I realized that I could be praying to God more because He was right there, all the time. Just to rest in His presence.

we then entered a construction area
we passed by some doctors dressed as construction workers (haha they're doing construction on my heart --was what I thought when I woke up)
and I told Jesus, Hey, my brother is a doctor too, but then I realized it wasn't the same thing, healing the soul.

when we sat down at some tables, He called me by my ex's name. I was confused and asked Him what it meant. From this point forward, everything seemed confusing to me when I woke up. Jesus replied that "when two people really love each other, they are before at the beginning…" but I did not understand the rest of what He was saying because He was disappearing. I tried to walk towards Him but when I reached the other side of the table it was my cousin and his girlfriend, but I didn't recognize them at all until I asked them who they were. My cousin told me he wasn't upfront with me about everything (because I had a crush on him before) and he was okay with me being Christian, but not okay with me going back to Amsterdam, which was a big 'no-no' . I said I was going to go back and turned around and left and said "to myself  ,I hope you live" (which struck me as quite bitter later when I woke up).  The dream assumed I had gone on missions in Amsterdam already, so basically I told him I was going to go back there for missions again.

So, I googled Amsterdam after I woke up because I had forgotten what Amsterdam was like. It made sense .

I woke up still feeling a love for Jesus I felt like I had never felt before.
I wondered later in the day if that dream was a real experience because sometimes when things like this happen, I wonder if it was really Him. But then I realized, God must've sent it for a reason and besides, it pointed me back towards Himself.

I also wondered why I didn't feel this Jesus' love for me that seemed so obvious to other people when other people had experiences like this. Then I realized that everyone experiences Him differently and even though I may not 'feel' His love for me, it doesn't get rid of the truth that He is still always there for me and always with me.